Monday, July 10, 2006

Blue Bell Strawberry Shortcake ice cream

between its predilection for making completely-average ice cream and its exorbitant prices (not to mention its unjustified rep as a font of greatness), it’s hard to resist any opp to take a swipe at blue bell. But one also hates to appear biased (har) or god forbid predictable, so let’s just lay this out there, judgment-free: Blue Bell Strawberry Shortcake ice cream, w/ vanilla ice cream (what else, for chrissake, it is, after all blue bell) blended w strawbs, chunks of pound cake, & a whipped topping swirl (not even "whipped cream", but effing cool whip, can you believe that shit). And again, without judgment, let’s list alllllllll the other strawb flavors BB already makes: banana strawb, choc covered strawb, strawb & vanilla, strawb chzcake, and of course plain strawb

20 Comments:

At July 10, 2006 11:48 AM, Blogger Scott Roche said...

Nothing wrong with Cool Whip at all, but yeah BB suxx.

 
At July 10, 2006 11:53 AM, Anonymous m.b. said...

I second the Captain's motion supporting Cool Whip!

 
At July 10, 2006 12:06 PM, Anonymous ms.ery said...

I can't believe Cool Whip fans are reading this blog!

 
At July 10, 2006 12:29 PM, Anonymous clairevoyant said...

spent fri evening with friends who had reddi-whip spray in their fridge, and let their 5 year old suck most of the stuff down her throat. it was disgusting to watch, and haven't they ever heard of huffing?

 
At July 10, 2006 12:30 PM, Blogger Dean said...

welcome back ms.ery!

Shortcake, how predictable

 
At July 10, 2006 12:35 PM, Anonymous soofsayer said...

clairevoyant may be a wise OLD soul, but surely she remembers the pleasures of consuming whipped cream straight from the can? besides, it's ok if that kid burns out its brain cells. after 2010, the planet will be a burned-out hull. enjoy your inhalants while ye may!

 
At July 10, 2006 12:37 PM, Blogger Paris Hilton said...

If I'm going to indulge in inhalants, I don't bother with the whipped cream. Although, yes, whipped cream in a can has its charms.

 
At July 10, 2006 12:41 PM, Anonymous clairevoyant said...

ok, soof, so maybe it was just that I didn't get any of the stuff after she had slobbered all over the nozzle.

 
At July 10, 2006 1:00 PM, Blogger Twisted Dog said...

C'MERE, CLAIREVOYANT, I'LL SLOBBER ALL OVER YOU. NOTHING BEATS A GOOD SLOBBER. JUST ASK DOG KILLER.

 
At July 10, 2006 1:05 PM, Blogger Twisted Link said...

Children are almost as vile and disgusting as cool whip, which, I believe, is a petroleum product.

 
At July 10, 2006 2:20 PM, Anonymous clairevoyant said...

twisted d:
why, that's the best offer i've had all day!

 
At July 10, 2006 4:16 PM, Anonymous Dick Cheney said...

Speaking of welcoming back, Welcome back, Dean! Did you enjoy your stay at Gitmo?

Twisted Link, you are correct. Cool Whip is a petroleum product, manufactured by the Kraft, Inc. subsidiary of Halliburton. It was developed as an offshoot to our ... I mean "their" ... program to create a safer runway foam for the United States Air Force. Now that no one uses runway foam to cushion falling aircraft, Kraft has found a whole new use for Cool Whip...whipped dessert topping!!!

It's also fun to fill up the bathtub on Air Force One (and maybe Air Force Two) with Cool Whip and sit in the tub while the pilot does parabolic maneuvers. Almost as much fun as firing a shotgun at your hunting buddy!

 
At July 10, 2006 5:52 PM, Blogger Dean said...

learned how to make great Cubans, Dick.

 
At July 10, 2006 8:24 PM, Blogger Twisted Link said...

I also understand that one can make homemade cool whip by scraping all the scum off one's children or taking their bath water and putting it in a centrifuge or food processor.

 
At July 10, 2006 9:57 PM, Blogger Rick Perry said...

That scum keeps my hair under control and my party in office.

So wash y'all's mouth out, ya here?

 
At July 10, 2006 11:03 PM, Anonymous Dick Cheney said...

Yeah, if I could, I would throw ALL those Cubans in there too. But I am glad you found some good ones to make it with.

 
At July 13, 2006 11:21 PM, Blogger Anna said...

Yeah, next they are going to do "Strawberry Cookie Dough". Yum (not).

But you know, I think "Strawberry Malt" would be good.

Why doesn't BB ever do malt?

 
At July 14, 2006 4:08 AM, Anonymous Hillary said...

Malt sucks. Not as much a George Bush sucks for oil, but a close second. Isn't that right Dick? Dick, ... Dick?

 
At July 14, 2006 7:37 AM, Anonymous dick Cheney said...

Quit bothering me with this shit, you bitch.

Don't you know that I've got to get the courts to agree that the Vice President is immune from civil proceedings, like the President (and maybe the Vice President)?

I mean, what if every sanctimonious asshole I've slandered or exposed as a covert agent were able to sue me? Would I have time to run the country?

 
At July 14, 2006 9:42 AM, Anonymous Valerie said...

I'm gonna getchya Dick!

 

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