Friday, August 25, 2006

NYCE buffet

today: too much news to eat. yet it's all so garbagey that none merits a main course. so we're going buffet style and hold the links pls:
1. Having caught wind of this crazy "gourmet-coffee" thing, Folgers has a new premium line. in folgers world, premium = FLAVORS. except flavors = opposite of premium. anyway, free samples of dreck like "caramel drizzle" & "vanilla biscotti" here if you dare
2. Winestyles - "a new and easy way to shop for wine" - takes Best Cellars' make-wine-EZ concept and dumbs it down further by putting wine in categories such as crisp fruity mellow rich & bold. no need to worry about labels! just walk in & say, "i'd like something rich". snicker. it's sweeping the burbs w/ branches open in FW, flower mound, southlake, grapevine, lewisville, etc and a jillion more set to open in the next 6 mths.
3. remember when McD made a big frigging deal about offering salads? which consisted of 5 chunks of honeydew & 3 walnuts. well McDonald's is now shrinking its "meal-size" fruit salad to "snack pack" size. pretty soon they'll have it down to an airplane-size bag of nuts. they so suck

13 Comments:

At August 25, 2006 1:38 PM, Blogger Twisted Link said...

Oh, I'm full. I don't think I can go back for thirds. Well, maybe just a little bit. Should I get a new plate? I hope they replenished the chocolate pudding.

 
At August 25, 2006 5:29 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

I guess everyone's at the W.S. estate sale...

I like your concept, TG: Dish the crap out on the buffet line.

 
At August 25, 2006 5:30 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

MILF? Word Verification: momfox

 
At August 26, 2006 1:16 PM, Anonymous Marvo said...

Dang, I thought the original size of their fruit salad was a snack size.

 
At August 28, 2006 3:15 PM, Blogger Parker said...

Folgers premium?! "Now you can enjoy gas-station style coffee in the comfort of your own kitchen!"

 
At August 28, 2006 6:27 PM, Anonymous ms.ery said...

Did any of you hit the Waltrina Stovall estate sale? If so, wish you had introduced yourself. I kept looking for you. Foodie from the fartherest away was the food editor of the San Antonion Express, who was in town to visit her daughter and saw the ad. She bought some of my favorite things.

Sale was fairly successful, tho beset by problems caused by two across the street neighbors. They called code enforcement as soon as we opened and tried to shut it down by claiming 1) I had had stuff trucked in for the sale, 2)I had had 6 garage sales in the last year (it has been years and years since I had one, 3) I had a wild boar in my back yard (but only to fatten for roasting, I protested), and lots of other bad neighbor things. The code enforcement officer who came out was inclined to believe them that one person couldn't have owned everything in the house (tho I did). He was only going to let the sale run thru Friday, but with many calls, pleading and an attorney, got to stay open through the weekend-- but were direly warned againt putting up any signs except one in the front yard. We generated excitement by starting discounts early and making deeper and deeper price slashes. Unfriendly neighbors persisted in being unfriendly, rushing to call the cops everytime an unsuspecting sale-goer parked on my side of the street (not allowed). Happily the police were nice when they came out; let the people move their cars and no tickets.

We sold a lot, however, tho plans to run the sale a second weekend (which normally is allowed) had to be scratched. Just wait for the sale at my second house, where I think the neighbors will be nicer. (Did meet a very sweet young couple who are new to the block.)

Code enforcement is coming back this week to tell me everything I have to do to my property to appease my neighbors. And after I do all that, I am going to do something extra, like paint the house puke green.

Anyway, twas an interesting weekend. Soon as that boar fattens up a bit more, I'm hosting a luau.

 
At August 29, 2006 11:11 AM, Blogger Twisted Link said...

I'd be happy to paint your neighbor's house puke green. See how they like that.

 
At August 29, 2006 11:36 AM, Blogger Tom Cruise said...

As you know, I've had a long association with ultra-creative, ultra-radical independent films. (I think Risky Business was a fine example of teen angst.)

Now, I've decided to take the lead in the indie biz, and take it to where it needs to be: multibillion corporate box-office smashes.

Unlike those of you who need to have garage sales, I'm flush with venture capital and primed to make a grainy B&W film with MTV-style quick cuts and a nonsensical plot.

See you at Sundance.

 
At August 29, 2006 12:14 PM, Blogger madpercolator said...

Even with a loaded gun pointed to my temple, even to my kneecap (which means living with pain) - I will refuse a sip of either Folger's or Maxwell House.
Ass still tastes like ass, even if you couch it under the 'premium' label...

 
At August 29, 2006 1:54 PM, Anonymous coffee-and-tea said...

I agree with Mad Percolator on Folgers. I wouldn't drink it for free. (Mad Percolator is a good name for a coffee drinker.)

 
At August 29, 2006 3:00 PM, Blogger BK said...

ms.ery... forget about waiting for the boar to fatten. Put some pork on your fork instead!

Just grab yourself a copy of Marlena De Blasi's A Thousand Days in Tuscany, page 147, and cook up a mess o' "Braised Pork to Taste Like Wild Boar."

It should be one everyone's "to braise soon" list.

 
At September 03, 2006 11:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't care how easy they make it to buy wine, I'm still not a big fan of it.

Texas "Beer Me" T-bone

 
At September 16, 2006 11:27 AM, Blogger Steve said...

"premium = FLAVORS. except flavors = opposite of premium", good one!

 

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